Finding Comfort in Silence and Solitude
- Category: Anxiety
- March 11, 2025
Silence and solitude can be uncomfortable. For many of us, being alone or sitting in quiet stillness brings up feelings of anxiety, loneliness, or even restlessness. The absence of distractions can make our thoughts feel louder, and that can be unsettling. But what if, underneath that discomfort, there was also a sense of peace waiting for us?
As Rachel Rutkie, PsyD. notes learning to sit with silence and be alone is a skill—one that takes practice. And it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. The key is to start small, easing into these experiences in a way that feels manageable. Over time, silence and solitude can transform from something we avoid into something we cherish.
Choosing Your Starting Point
Instead of diving into both silence and solitude at once, it can be helpful to start with just one. Would you rather begin with moments of silence while still having company, or would you prefer to be alone but with some comforting sounds in the background?
If silence feels like the easier place to start, try taking just a few minutes without distractions. This doesn’t mean sitting in total stillness—just creating space where there is no background noise from music, TV, or social media. You might be with a pet, a loved one, or even in a familiar, cozy environment. Simply let things be as they are and notice what arises.
On the other hand, if solitude feels more accessible, you can create a space where you’re alone but still feel supported. A soft pillow, a weighted blanket, or even some gentle nature sounds can provide a sense of comfort. The goal isn’t to force yourself into isolation but rather to see what happens when you allow yourself to be alone for a little while. Moving Through Discomfort
Moving Through Discomfort
When we first step into silence or solitude, it’s normal to feel uneasy. Our minds might race, and emotions we’ve been avoiding could start to surface. But instead of pushing these anxious feelings away, we can practice noticing them with curiosity.
Ask yourself: What is underneath the discomfort? Is there something deeper—a sense of relief, perhaps, or even the beginnings of inner-peace? Sometimes, after the initial wave of unease passes, our nervous system starts to settle, and we may find a quiet comfort in the experience.
A helpful way to anchor yourself in these moments is through the body. Notice your breath. Feel the texture of a blanket or the warmth of your hands resting in your lap. By tuning into physical sensations, you create a bridge between discomfort and ease.
Shifting Our Relationship with Silence
Silence doesn’t have to be empty or unsettling. In fact, it can be a powerful tool for self-connection. When we remove external noise, we create space to hear ourselves more clearly.
This doesn’t mean we have to sit in total stillness for hours on end. Silence can be woven into everyday life in simple ways—turning off the radio during a drive, pausing for a few deep breaths before checking our phones, or enjoying a quiet moment before bed. These small practices help us get used to silence in a way that feels natural and sustainable.
Finding Solitude Without Loneliness
Being alone doesn’t have to mean feeling lonely. In solitude, we have the opportunity to be with ourselves in a way that isn’t about avoidance or distraction but about presence.
To make solitude feel emotionally supportive rather than isolating, it helps to create an environment that feels safe and comforting. This could mean setting up a cozy space with familiar objects, journaling your thoughts, or engaging in a solo activity that brings you joy, like drawing, walking, or simply resting.
Another shift in perspective is recognizing that solitude is a choice rather than something imposed on us. When we actively choose to spend time alone, we reclaim it as a form of self-care rather than something to escape from.
Embracing the Benefits
With time, what once felt uncomfortable can become a source of inner-peace and mental clarity. Silence allows us to slow down, listen inward, and process emotions more fully. Solitude gives us the chance to rest, reflect, and cultivate a deeper sense of self-awareness.
It’s not about forcing ourselves into quiet or isolation but about gradually learning to appreciate what these moments have to offer. Through practice, silence and solitude can become places of refuge rather than discomfort—places where we can breathe, reset, and simply be.
If sitting in silence or being alone feels challenging right now, know that it doesn’t have to stay that way. Start small, approach it with curiosity, and see what unfolds. You might just find that underneath the initial resistance, there’s something surprisingly beautiful waiting for you.
When we embrace silence and solitude, we create space for inner peace and mental clarity to emerge. At first, being alone might stir up anxious thoughts or a sense of feeling lonely, but with time, we can shift our perspective. A quiet moment with comforting sounds or a sensory object like a cozy space filled with soft textures can make solitude feel more like a personal refuge than isolation. Through self-awareness and emotional ease, we learn that stillness isn’t something to fear—it’s an opportunity for self-connection and deep restoration.
The original video was created by Rachel Rutkie, PsyD.
