Qualities to Look for in New Friends

Finding new friends is like setting out for a quest. You have a goal in mind, and you have certain qualities you’d like your friends to have. Friendship is an exclusive relationship that involves two people being able to rely on and trust one another. Maybe you’ve been hurt by friends in the past and are ready for new connections, or maybe you’ve just moved to a new city. Maybe you are struggling with your mental health, or have recently experienced a loss. 

Whatever the case, forming friendships is beneficial for our well-being. We are not meant to struggle on our own and be isolated. Humans are incredibly social creatures, and having a friend’s support can make our lives a little less lonely and a lot more enjoyable. From a young age, we seek friendships by sharing animal crackers in preschool to progressing socially and helping a friend with college math homework. Friendship gives us the building blocks to love, give, and face life’s ups and downs. 

The best way to form friendships is by demonstrating the traits that you are looking for as well. For example, being honest, encouraging, non-judgemental, dependable, and humorous are great qualities that would attract any friend. This article will outline the basic qualities that you should look for when scouting for new friends. These qualities might even help you to examine and improve yourself!


Whether you have a piece of broccoli stuck in your teeth or you are about to embark on a major life decision, your best friend is there to give you their real opinion. Honesty is a direct bridge to trust. Friends that are open and honest about their lives tend to be trustworthy as well. If you have a friend that harbors secrets or tells you white lies, that’s a major red flag for the friendship. Best friends might not say exactly what we want to hear, but they have our best interests in mind.


Encouragement from friends is a great confidence booster. Your best friend should be the person that consistently hypes you up and makes you feel like the incredible person you are. This type of friend thinks that you are awesome and is there to give you a boost when you are feeling low. As your personal cheerleader, your best friend reminds you of how many great things you have to offer the world, always focusing on your positive attributes that make you shine. If your current friends always bring up your faults, either to make you feel bad or to make themselves feel better, they are not a true friend. Evaluate who you hang around and make sure they support you through the highs and the lows. 

No Judgement

Whether you’re looking for a best friend or are seeking to drop old friends, this is a key trait for solid friendships. There should be no judgment. Being judged by a friend feels shameful and humiliating. A genuine friend will accept you and all of your quirks and odd habits. When venturing out to make new friends, be aware of how you pass judgments as well. Acceptance of other personalities and ways of life are important steps when forming new friendships. Keep in mind as well, that everyone wants a friend. Try not to pass judgments based on someone’s appearance, clothing, or job. Friendships can blossom between even the most different of individuals. 


Depending on someone can be terrifying, especially if you’ve ever had trust issues. Friends that you can depend on are rare gems. As we experience the ups and downs of life, people will disappoint us and let us down when we need them most. A true friend is someone that stands by your side no matter what the circumstance is. A best friend is there when you are in need of a presence to not be alone. They are the loyal person that shows up with pizza and a movie to quell your tears. Dependability is a trait that keeps relationships strong and helps to withstand the trials of life. A great way to practice dependability is to reassure your friends that you will be there if they need you. Don’t stop there, but practice what you preach! Show up when your friends need you and demonstrate your ability to be the rock they need.

Enthusiasm and Humor

Humor makes life a little lighter. When it comes to forming a best friend, rolling on the floor laughing till your stomach hurts doesn’t happen with just anyone. Best friends know exactly what will trigger a belly-aching laugh between the personal jokes and shared experiences. Enthusiasm for life keeps a friendship from feeling stagnant and mundane. Friends should fill your life with laughter and bring adventures to the table. Humor can make anyone feel better, whether they have had the worst day, or simply need a rush of serotonin. 

When we address mental health in friendships, it can be a relief to have a friend that not only understands but can make you laugh in the midst of sadness. Many people do not know how to address mental health issues, and may even shy away from them. In true friendships, humor can be used as a way to confront mental health problems by relating to one another about similar struggles. People who are able to laugh freely are the people who are addicting to be around. Friendships should be a safe place where you can laugh unrestrictedly and feel comfortable with one another. 

Friendship teaches us to love freely and have compassion for others. With the right friends, these relationships can be key support systems. The ups and downs of life might seem unbearable, but having a true friend to listen to your problems and pull you out of the troublesome feelings you are facing can be life-changing. If we put this into the context of a mental illness, it is incredibly relieving to have a friend that can relate to your depression or anxiety. There is someone that understands you and is ready to be there for you on a bad day.  Life isn’t meant to be lived alone, and friends are part of our human need to have relationships and feel connected. If you are feeling lonely and are in need of support, SokyaHealth is available to help. SokyaHealth provides holistic mental health services for all ages. We serve individuals in the Southern California, Oregon, and Alaska regions. To schedule a free consultation with SokyaHealth, contact us today at 866-932-1767.

More than 50% of Americans struggle with mental health.

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