Learning to Give Yourself Grace Using Mindfulness

It is true that we are our biggest critics. Over the big and small accomplishments in your life, you might hold yourself to a certain standard and express joy or sadness depending on if they’re met or not. You may also hold high expectations for yourself. While it is okay to use expectations to motivate yourself, it can become a toxic cycle when you do not allow grace. 

Mindfulness is a great way to practice relieving yourself from being too harsh on things that happen in your life. It allows you to remain calm, present, and not overly reactive. Mindfulness will help you understand the root of your stress and manage your triggers successfully. 

Mindfulness Instead of Punishment

In life, mistakes are made all the time, and this is completely normal. Every billionaire, scientist, and athlete has made a mistake that they felt could be detrimental to their career. However, the difference in their success despite these mistakes is how they chose to respond to them. Typically, mistakes provoke criticism which may lead one to self-punish. Self-punishment could include:  

  • Negative self-talk

  • Physical self-harm

  • Withholding yourself from something you enjoy 

These punishments may have been learned from your elders or peers while growing up and despite what you may have been taught, they actually do more harm than good. It is often believed that suffering improves one’s character and prevents one from repeating their mistakes in the future. 

However, this is not often the case and if you find yourself doing this, you are encouraged to find alternatives, such as seeking professional help.If you find self-punishment an effective form of motivation, understand that this behavior is hurting your character and can cause long-term distress.

Learn From Your Mistakes

If you find yourself reverting to self-punishment in response to your mistakes, practicing mindfulness is a better solution that promotes a healthier way to learn from your mistakes. Mindfulness encourages self-love despite errors that occur in your life. Here are some ways that you can practice mindfulness in times when you are needing to give yourself grace for mistakes.

  • It’s a journey:

    Even if you feel like you don’t deserve it, rewards don’t always have to be given for success, as the journey and process to get there are much more tedious and straining

  • Take time to meditate:

    Focusing your mind on the self and being aware of only your current situation promotes a clear mind and a much more stable emotional state. This can be done through yoga, journaling, or alone time

  • Seek therapy:

    Professional help can aid you in centering your attention on the situation at hand, and coming to peace with the outcome. If you normally think that you can go it alone, understand that therapy is a great way to get support and advice so that you don’t feel like you’re doing this alone

Shaking off the Guilt

In addition to practicing mindfulness, it is also important to learn how to release feelings of guilt. Feeling guilty over a situation could result from the constant battle between who you’re blaming and replaying a mistake repeatedly in your head.Thus, it’s important to tackle these two issues to relieve yourself of the guilt and move forward without dwelling any further.

Use Guilt as a Teaching Tool

Use guilt as a teaching tool. This requires understanding that it is okay to have feelings of guilt. However, you want to use guilt in a way that isn’t inhibiting your daily life and mental state. Instead, take responsibility for what you did, accept it, and do your best to improve the situation. You can write down how you feel and what steps you can take to prevent the situation from happening again.

However, if you can’t seem to let it go, rather than fighting your thoughts, acknowledge them. Think about the event, how it made you feel, and if you are comfortable opening up to someone about it. You may find that they have similar experiences or advice that can help you move forward. Sometimes knowing that you share similar experiences with another is enough to bring ease to your situation. 


Once you are able to utilize mindfulness and release feelings of guilt, forgiving yourself is easier to accomplish. Doing so will improve your mental and emotional state, and you will be able to focus and concentrate on important things in your life. 

Additionally, self-forgiveness extends beyond yourself as you may find that your personal relationships with others are much happier and healthier, improving your overall well-being.

Mindfulness takes practice and time to achieve, but the rewards you get from practicing it are worth it. You may find yourself in a healthier state of mind and have a sense of control over your emotions. However, if you find this to be something difficult to achieve, you don’t have to do it alone. At SokyaHealth, we have a team of licensed professionals that offer both therapy and coaching to help you accomplish mindfulness and learn to forgive yourself when situations become difficult. With our team, we can provide you with unique sessions that allow you to practice mindfulness to minimize and rid feelings of anxiety and stress. Our services prioritize your mental and emotional well-being and help you begin to live a life that allows you to lead and take control of your life. For more information, call us today at 800-930-0803 and (866) 65-SOKYA.

More than 50% of Americans struggle with mental health.

Headlight is now collaborating with health plans and companies to make therapy more accessible and affordable. Speak to a Care Coordinator today.