How Do I Take Control?

Who has control over your life? Often, teens and young adults have little to no control over what goes on in their lives because of their age. As a teen or young adult, you may know you have the ability to make sound decisions, but taking control of your life can seem overwhelming. How do you take control when most people see you as a kid?

Do Perceptions Define Me?

Older generations may not remember what it’s like to be young. Even if they do, they may fail to recognize you as a person, not an age. How many times have you heard someone say, “The problem with the younger generation(s) today is…”? Whether the person says it’s your lack of respect for authority, a decrease in moral or social values, or something else, the lack of belief or understanding of your capacity to make decisions for yourself is, at times, frustrating.

Many older generations gloss over your generation’s dedication to social, political, and environmental causes. You and those in your age group are taking strides to change how the world views social action. Through TikTok, YouTube, and Instagram, calls to action are spread throughout the nation and world. The perception that you can’t make your own decisions or lack the knowledge necessary is off. However, the problem of trying to gain the respect of those older than you remain. How do you take control of your life without drama?

Do I Need to Tap Into My Feelings?

Take an emotional inventory of yourself. How are you feeling? Maybe you find yourself overwhelmed and feeling helpless because of what is going on in the world, your community, or your life. If so, take a step back, assess what is going on, and evaluate what you can or can’t change. Then, focus on the people or situations taxing your mental well-being. Once you identify the specific cause of emotional discord, figure out how to address the issue.

Emotions can control outcomes. If you’re facing challenges in your life, don’t assume you’re the reason. You’re not your circumstances. However, you’re still being held back by negative feelings. Talk with a therapist to release those negative feelings’ control over you. Your therapist can guide you to understand what you’re feeling and what triggers them. Talk with your therapist about healthy coping skills that aid you in changing what you can and letting go of what you can’t change. Your inner peace is more important than trying to control everything.

Another healthy way to assess and address a toxic person or situation is to talk with a mental health coach. With them, you can identify options to help you regain your well-being. A mental health coach is also there for you if you want to vent. Take “me time” to control your actions, behaviors, and goals.

Where Are You Lost?

You may not have put much thought into the concept of being emotionally lost. Think about how you identify. Are you someone’s significant other, child, or employee? You can get lost in how you identify yourself. Over time or by habit, you can forget to think of yourself as you. Instead, you put others ahead of yourself, pushing your needs to the bottom of a list. When you don’t prioritize, you give others control over your life. Stop letting others determine who you are.

Take the steps necessary to re-connect or find yourself. Go on an adventure, unplug, or try something new. Remind yourself of what makes you happy by immersing yourself in your favorite hobbies. Learn to be you again or for the first time.

What Can I Do to Take Control?

Wondering how you can take control of your life is the first step towards managing it. Another step is letting go of what others think of you. You can’t control how others think, so why try? Work on yourself, be kind, and stay on track to achieve your goals. Other suggestions to take control include:

• Take back yourself:

  Relationships can consume you. Maybe one day, you realize you took a passive role in your life. Getting out of a relationship where you’re not the owner of your life is complicated. The person with control will throw up barriers and insist there’s nothing wrong or ask you to stop improving yourself. Stand your ground. It’s okay to mourn or feel regret for the time you lost in an unhealthy relationship. Instead, acknowledge your feelings and make a clear plan to move forward.

• Recognize those with an agenda:

  Not everyone you meet wants your role to be equal. Watch out for people who keep you in their shadow instead of helping you shine. Likewise, walk away if a person asks you to do something that benefits them but hurts you.

• Trust your gut:

  Don’t ignore your gut instinct about a person or situation.