Setting Boundaries With Loved Ones in Recovery
- Category: Relationships
- June 6, 2022
During your recovery process, the roles of loved ones are vital and can serve as a reminder or motivation to promote further growth. However, just like all things, too much can deter your goals and make you feel as if your progress has slowed down. Learning to take control and set boundaries can help you continue achieving and maintaining your goals while still maintaining a healthy relationship with those close to you.
What Are Your Boundaries?
It is human nature to surround yourself with things that provide you with feelings of comfort and reinforcement. Thankfully, you have a say in which hobbies you want to take part in your life to promote a sense of satisfaction and overall well-being. However, for people partaking in your life, you may find that the behaviors or actions of your loved ones are affecting your level of comfort.
Problems arise when these same people overstep too much into the recovery journey. Instead of acting as an aid, they are actually a barrier to achieving your personal goals. This then causes feelings of discomfort and tension to emerge, hindering you from your growth.
Becoming independent is a big facet of sustaining recovery; therefore, if the people in your life are doing everything for you, they are enabling. Enabling is very counterproductive to recovery. If your loved one is not encouraging you to seek independence, you need to create boundaries to keep them from enabling you.
Identify Where to Set Boundaries
Identify your boundaries and how much this individual gets to be involved in your life. Look at the aspects that help shape you into the person you desire to be. With this, look at the aspects that serve as a blockage.
As soon as you are aware of your likes and dislikes, you can then proceed to have a conversation with this loved one in a way that maintains a strong bond with this individual but also respects your needs and boundaries.
Tough Conversations Made Easy
Confrontation is something that can be difficult and stress-provoking for those who value peace and good relationships. However, this doesn’t have to be a hard discussion to have. It is possible to direct this into being a positive and healthy conversation. Here are steps you can take to set boundaries with loved ones while in recovery.
Phone vs. Face-to-Face
Having conversations over the phone can cause things to turn sour very quickly. This occurs because each party interprets the conversation from the viewpoint of each other’s vocal tones. Having conversations in person demonstrates the importance of what you are discussing. It also shows that it is worth your time and theirs.
Face-to-face conversations also enhance both peoples’ trust and bonds and provide a better interpretation of one’s thoughts and feelings as you are able to observe their body language and facial expressions. If the option is available, choose face-to-face conversations.
Words are so powerful that they can ultimately build up one’s character or tear one down. When having conversations, it’s important to choose your words carefully. This can be achieved by knowing what words you should say and what you should avoid. Words that come off as belittling and accusatory should be avoided.
When harmful phrases are used, it can damage one’s self-esteem and the relationship you two share. Instead, it is best to focus on yourself and how different situations have made you feel. Using “I” statements will bring the focus on your emotions and allow you to take control over how you feel, think, and ultimately what you need.
Hear Them Out
Be prepared to hear a response from your loved one after you finished expressing all your concerns and desired boundaries. They will likely explain why they have done the things they did. Their response may come out loving and supporting to the point where they are immediately willing to give in to your request. Alternatively, it may be hard for them to hear these things, but you must remind yourself of your initial feelings and why you want to set boundaries.
Seek Professional Help
If you are finding that it is hard to talk with a loved one, consider seeking professional help. A counselor or therapist can be present during these tough conversations to help moderate them and keep the focus on progress. They will also keep things from becoming confrontational.
Thank Your Loved Ones
Remember that those beside you in your recovery journey are not against you but rather here to support you. Without a doubt, they want to see you continue to succeed and grow. Nonetheless, this is your journey and having boundaries is a healthy way to ensure that you continue to advance to the finish line.
Having proper care and support through your recovery journey is important. While your friends and family can be of great aid, it’s important to listen to your judgment to decipher how much these individuals will have access to your life. Creating boundaries may be necessary if you find your loved ones overstepping their roles in your life. If you do find that you need further support to get you to where you want to be, SokyaHealth is here to serve you as a licensed and professional support system. At SokyaHealth, we have the tools and services necessary to stimulate and promote further growth and success in your journey. We want to see you succeed and overcome any hardships you may be experiencing at this time. For more information on how we can help you, call us today at 800-930-0803.